Once Bitten, Twice Shy
by Lady Arreya
Summary: Coda to "Prophecy." P&K friendship, P/T.


Title: Once Bitten, Twice Shy  
Rating: T  
Summary: Coda to "Prophecy." P&K friendship, P/T.

* * *

It was already halfway through lunchtime in the Mess Hall when Harry finally staggered in.

"Hi, Harry."

"Hi, Tom."

Harry fell into a chair and slumped down into his seat.

"Are you okay?" Tom asked with concern.

"I'm just glad the Klingons have finally left," Harry told him. "If I ever see another Klingon again, it'll be too soon," he added under his breath.

Tom heard him and raised an eyebrow. "You planning to stay out of Engineering, then?" he inquired.

"You know I didn't mean B'Elanna," Harry protested, giving him an exasperated look.

Tom wasn't about to let it go. Not after all he'd been through the past several days.

"You're saying she doesn't count because she's only half-Klingon," he said, a hint of challenge in his voice.

Harry sighed in frustration. "I didn't mean it like that."

"Then what did you mean?"

"I guess that was a little insensitive," he admitted. "Sorry. I'm just tired of being everyone's punching bag."

"What are you talking about?" Tom asked, perplexed. They hadn't had time to catch up in a while, and they'd both been preoccupied with their own problems.

"Well, first that Klingon woman Ch'Rega wanted to mate with me, after I broke up that fight in here. She started following me around and wouldn't leave me alone. I tried to tell her I wasn't interested, but she just threw me against the wall and bit me on the cheek."

"She bit you? She was serious, then. What'd you do?"

"She wouldn't take no for an answer, so I had to resort to crawling around through the Jefferies tubes."

Tom couldn't help chuckling at that.

Aggravated, Harry continued, "Then when T'Greth led the mutiny against Kohlar, Morak grabbed me and threw me across the transporter room, stunned me with my own phaser and beamed us all down to the planet's surface."

The irony was not lost on them. Tom had been challenged to fight to the death by a Klingon warrior but had come out of the _bat'leth _challenge and even the phaser firefight on the Bridge completely unscathed.

Meanwhile, Harry had been tossed around and beaten up. The Doctor had healed the physical wounds, but he could still feel the residual twinges of various aches and pains.

Most of all, his pride had been battered and he was kicking himself for his gullibility.

"I should have known," he berated himself. "How could I have been so stupid? Morak was asking me all these questions about transporting large groups of people at one time, and I just showed him how to do it. It was all my fault."

"It wasn't your fault, Harry. You couldn't have known what Morak was planning to do. We were supposed to be working together."

"I was distracted. If I'd been paying closer attention, I might have picked up on what they were up to."

"I think we were all a little too trusting. We should have known that T'Greth wasn't just going to let it go after he lost the _bat'leth_ challenge."

"Yeah. I'm sorry I missed your _bat'leth_ challenge and the banquet in the Mess Hall, too. I should have been there to support you and B'Elanna. But I was afraid I'd run into Ch'Rega."

"It's all right, Harry," Tom reassured him. "And you should be flattered that Ch'Rega chose you."

"Well, I wasn't. It hurt like hell when she bit me." Harry eyed him. "I don't know how you can stand it."

Tom shrugged. "B'Elanna's teeth aren't as sharp," he said lightly.

Harry was still looking at him skeptically.

"She doesn't bite me very often," Tom said more seriously. "And I usually know ahead of time when it's going to happen."

"Ch'Rega didn't give me any warning. And she seemed to think I was playing hard-to-get. When I was in Sickbay, the Doctor told me that I only had two options: mate with her or kill her."

Tom shook his head. "That sounds like the Doc, all right."

"Good thing Neelix offered to 'take her off my hands.'"

"Take her off your hands?" Tom echoed. "What is she, a used car?"

"Hey, those were Neelix's words, not mine."

"You didn't have to repeat them. She's a person, Harry. Not an object."

"Since when are you so sensitive?"

"Since I found out I'm going to have a daughter," Tom shot back.

Harry looked nonplussed for a moment.

"Okay. Let me re-phrase that. Neelix wanted to mate with her, so he roughed me up in the corridor – threw me against the bulkhead a couple times, threatened me – and told me to run. So I did."

Tom looked at him incredulously.

"It worked," Harry said, a little defensively. "I heard that Neelix and Ch'Rega practically destroyed Tuvok's quarters."

"So you're saying Ch'Rega was only with Neelix because you let her think you were afraid of him?"

"She wouldn't have looked twice at him otherwise. And he was really into her."

"But why? He couldn't have gotten to know her very well if she'd been spending all her time tracking you down."

"I guess he just wanted to experience Klingon mating rituals firsthand. He was totally immersed in all that Klingon stuff," Harry told him. "You know how he tends to get carried away."

Tom felt perturbed. Neither Harry nor Neelix had been honest with Ch'Rega, and their behavior towards her seemed manipulative.

In the past, it wouldn't have bothered him, but his perspective had shifted lately.

B'Elanna had told him before that most human men didn't want to get involved with a Klingon – or even part-Klingon – woman because it was too intimidating. And the men who did want to get involved generally only wanted sex.

Was this what it was going to be like for their daughter too?

He'd never considered any of these issues before, and he was starting to realize just how woefully unprepared he was. He suddenly felt very uneasy.

"Harry, why didn't you just tell Ch'Rega that you wanted to get to know her better before making any major decisions?"

"Because I didn't want to get to know her better," Harry argued.

"Why not? How else are you going to figure out if you like her or not?"

"I don't want to be with any Klingon woman," Harry declared. "Not just Ch'Rega."

"That's a pretty strong statement, Harry."

"What do you mean?"

"How many Klingon women have you met before?" Tom asked.

"Before a few days ago, besides B'Elanna? None."

"Then how would you know you don't want to be with any Klingon woman?"

"I just do."

"So you're eliminating an entire species, based on what, exactly?"

"Klingon women just aren't my type. I prefer being with women who aren't going to cause me physical pain."

"You can't automatically assume all Klingon women will do that. You're relying on negative stereotypes instead of getting to know them as individuals."

Harry looked taken aback. "I guess I never really thought about it that way before."

Tom sighed. "I never used to think about these things either. But I've come to realize we have to hold each other accountable," he said firmly. "Because I don't want my daughter growing up thinking it's normal for men to deceive and disrespect women."

"I could have handled it better," Harry acknowledged. "And Neelix too. We didn't do it on purpose, but I think Ch'Rega would feel hurt and angry if she knew that fight in the corridor wasn't real."

"Exactly."

"Let's talk to Neelix about it after lunch," Harry suggested. "I don't think it occurred to him that he was objectifying Ch'Rega, and he's usually willing to listen and make changes."

Tom nodded. "Okay."

"And I'm glad you brought it up. Because I don't think it's okay for men to deceive and disrespect women either."

"I'm glad we can talk about it."

They both fell silent for a little while, lost in their own thoughts.

"Tom, I really am sorry about what I said earlier," Harry finally said. "You know I would never deliberately say anything to hurt B'Elanna. She's my best friend too. And I know how sensitive she is about her Klingon heritage."

"I know, Harry," Tom replied.

But that was what troubled him the most. Even Harry, who was self-aware, sensitive and cared deeply about B'Elanna, wasn't immune to the deeply ingrained prejudices that humans had towards Klingons.

It was even worse the other way around.

"You know, I've always encouraged B'Elanna to embrace her Klingon heritage. But taking pride in being Klingon seems to go hand in hand with devaluing other species," Tom mused.

"What do you mean?"

"When B'Elanna and I met with the Klingon Council of Elders, they said that B'Elanna couldn't be the mother of the _kuvah'Magh_ because her blood wasn't pure. They called our baby a 'mongrel child.'"

He'd felt a flash of rage when T'Greth had insulted them so derisively.

Harry winced. "I'm sorry, Tom. That's awful."

"It was like they were revolted by the very idea of a Klingon and human having a child together."

"They probably were. This group of Klingons has worse prejudices against humans because their ancestors left the Alpha Quadrant before the Khitomer Accords," Harry pointed out.

B'Elanna had seemed resigned, as if she'd heard all the insults before. As if she'd answered these questions a million times before. Which she probably had, he realized.

Was this what she'd had to endure her entire life? People always evaluating her based on how she looked? People questioning her very existence? Having to defend herself constantly, as though she owed them all an explanation for her mixed heritage?

The underlying message was always that she was different. That she didn't belong.

"I've been hated for a lot of reasons before, but never for just existing. I'm starting to understand why B'Elanna feels so defensive about being part Klingon and part human."

"You know that Klingons don't generally think highly of humans," Harry reminded him. "They think we're weak and inferior."

Tom had never been around such a large group of non-humans before, and he'd felt distinctly uncomfortable in the Mess Hall when he had been in the minority. Especially when the Klingons had made their hatred and contempt of him so obvious.

He'd always blended in and took it for granted that he belonged. He'd never experienced that kind of discrimination before. He was just now beginning to realize that he'd always had the luxury of being able to ignore it.

"I guess it's easy to claim to be tolerant when you're always in the majority. I thought B'Elanna was overreacting before, but I'm not so sure about that anymore. Now I get why she wanted to change our baby's DNA."

"Her concerns are justified. She wanted to spare her the pain she's experienced," Harry agreed.

"I thought it would be enough if B'Elanna and I loved each other and loved and accepted our daughter just as she is, but now…"

The ugly reality was that their baby hadn't even been born yet and had already been targeted because of her hybrid heritage. The Klingons hadn't had any qualms about hurling racial slurs at all three of them.

"It's not enough," Harry affirmed. "You can't control what other people say or think. There's only so much you can do to protect her. You have to be proactive in preparing her for what she'll face."

"I think this is what B'Elanna has been trying to explain to me."

"She's an expert. She's lived it. You and B'Elanna will be better able to prepare your daughter. Better than B'Elanna's parents were able to."

"I sure hope so."

"I know you will. And it'll be easier on _Voyager_. We're all in this together."

"Thanks, Harry. I know I can always count on you."

"Of course you can. I'm your friend."

"You're the best, Harry. We're lucky to have you."

"I know. I'm lucky to have you too. And you and B'Elanna are lucky to have found each other." Harry sighed and hunched his shoulders. "I wish I could find someone, instead of attracting women I'm not interested in. Or falling for unattainable women all the time," he said morosely.

Tom hesitated.

"Do you think it has anything to do with Libby?" he ventured.

"I thought about that before," Harry confessed. "When I fell for Megan Delaney two years ago."

"I know you have high standards. Do you think maybe you've been subconsciously comparing every woman you meet to Libby?"

"Maybe," Harry conceded. "Libby and I were so compatible. It just felt right when we were together. She knew me better than anyone."

Libby had been the perfect woman for him. Kind, nurturing, lively and warm.

When he was too serious, she made him laugh and reminded him of the importance of balancing work and leisure. She was also organized and good at managing their social schedules. She'd shared his passion for music, and his parents had adored her.

They'd developed a deep attachment to one another and had been committed to building a life together.

"If Libby and I had stayed together, we'd probably be married now. In that alternate timeline, when I stayed on Earth, we were living together and engaged to be married."

Tom nodded. "I always wondered why you didn't just stay there," he remarked.

Harry stared out the window. "I was really tempted to. I had everything I ever wanted. I was back home on Earth, with Libby, my parents, my friends. I had a great job that I was really good at. I had the perfect life."

"But?" Tom prompted.

"But I found out that you hadn't made it on to _Voyager_ in that timeline. At first I was just worried that you were going to end up dead in a back alley somewhere. Then I realized it was far worse than just you. What your not being on board would mean. It meant that everyone on _Voyager_ and the _Val Jean_ was dead."

"How do you figure that?" Tom asked, puzzled.

"You were the only one who knew where the _Val Jean_ had been headed, and _Voyager's_ course was set to follow. If that hadn't happened, _Voyager_ would have been destroyed in the Badlands by the plasma storms instead of being transported to the Delta Quadrant by the Caretaker. And the _Val Jean_ wouldn't have been able to survive in the Delta Quadrant without _Voyager_."

All those people whom he had grown to care about. Tom, B'Elanna, Captain Janeway, Chakotay, Tuvok. And his friend Danny Byrd, who had gone in his place.

"I couldn't live with their deaths on my conscience. Not when I had the power to save them."

Tom looked thunderstruck.

"I never realized," he said at last. "You're probably right."

Harry sighed again. "And at the time, I truly believed we'd make it back quickly. I thought Libby would wait for me."

He didn't regret it. But for a while he had despaired, believing he had condemned himself to being alone forever.

"So you actually lost Libby twice, and you never really got to grieve either time."

He reflected on that. Had he ever really allowed himself to actually grieve? It was difficult to grieve while still holding on to hope.

And though the pain of losing her had diminished over time, it had never completely gone away.

"Did you ever write to her?"

Harry shook his head. "I'd assumed that she'd moved on with her life and that she wouldn't want to hear from me. She never wrote to me."

"You don't know that. Remember all those letters we lost? She might have written to you then."

"She might have. I was so focused on getting a letter from my parents that I didn't really consider the possibility."

"Maybe you could write to her now and send it in the next datastream," Tom said gently.

"I think I will," Harry said at last.

He'd missed her so much in the early days, and she'd come to represent all he'd lost: home, family, future. All his longing and misery had initially been focused on her. Perhaps some part of him just hadn't been able to let go because it would have meant giving up on the dream of getting home quickly.

Had he idealized her so much that no other woman could measure up? Was that why it had been safer to distract himself with holograms he could program to his specifications?

Maybe Tom was right. Over the past few years he had been overly focused on women whom he thought were his type, relying too much on physical attractiveness and other superficial characteristics.

After all, none of those women had actually turned out quite the way he'd expected. For example, Derran Tal had appeared human and he'd been incredibly attracted to her, but her physiology had turned out to be very different. And Irina had acted like she had enjoyed his company, but she had only been using him. Not to mention that they'd both turned out to be terrorists.

Seven, Lyndsay and Megan hadn't turned out to be good matches for him either. But there might still be other possibilities on _Voyager_ that he'd overlooked.

He resolved to be more open-minded about it from now on, to take the time to get to know other people he'd never considered as potential partners before.

Maybe then he could finally find a love that would last.

The End!


End file.
